lo siento

I really dislike when I miss days of blogging. Not, because I have hundreds of readers nor am I so self-absorbed that I feel people should always know what I’m thinking (or maybe I am lol). I blog mainly for myself as a way to at least share some of me.

To explain: I think a lot, more so than the average person, something I’ve come to find out over the years after questioning others about their own thought life. Not saying I’m some more wise and knowledgeable person than others,  I’m quite the opposite. I am just always thinking. I also have conversations with myself and I answer back. Yes, sometimes those conversations are out loud.

Sometimes I feel like I live such a shallow life and that would be no ones fault, but my own. However, I don’t feel that I do this on purpose. One of my weaknesses I have discovered in the past couple of years is communication. I’m really bad at it and I can’t even explain to you in what facet I fail in, because I myself don’t fully understand how it should work. In most of my relationships in life I am a great listener and my river runs deep when needing to minister, listen, or advise others. When it comes to me sharing, I doubt many people really know me by no fault of their own. I had a very broken childhood and still haven’t totally processed all that; it has it’s effects in certain areas of my life that God has begun highlighting to me more so lately.

Anyhoo that’s all I was saying is sorry if there are days in between my postings. God seems to be putting His finger on certain areas of my life and calling for a time of processing. There is always an area God would love to get in the mix of if we ask Him, “right now in my life what areas do you not have full control over”. There are also times where He decides no more waiting on things we haven’t wanted to deal with. “The time is now”, He says to us. Well that time seems to be now for me in dealing with areas of my childhood. As much as healing is tough to go through/process, it’s better than trying to keep covered and clean an infected festering wound.

There is always an area for Him to work on. Always.

Oh, I would appreciate any prayer if you think of it. Thanks.

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